Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Emperor On Video

Your beloved Emperor is now on video. You can catch his most dispicablenss on you tube or at or just watch the video below.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Semi - Conscious Hon-Yocks of the Third Planet

You Humans arrogantly assume you are an intelligent species despite all the evidence to the contrary. Well, this is only going to be an issue between now and when I finally get the green light to go ahead with my Light Speed Corridor project, at which time your solar system is scheduled to be distroyed.

The Current Situation

While it is true that even I, Ming the Merciless, Emperor of the Universe, cannot go around destroying galactic real estate that is occupied by indigenous intelligent life forms, the original surveyors who came here to your insignificant solar system determined that there was no intelligent species on the third planet. The only reason you are able to read my words today is the fact that a scientific team was found parked out in the asteroid belt in this system.
It's a long boring, disgusting, frustrating story and I'll lose control if I try to relate it to you here. If you're really into self abuse you can read about it at my website. But to make a long story short, these scientists somehow got word back to the Galactic Council and everything became completely political and the results were that my Light Speed Corridor project has been temporarily delayed! Those idiot scientists actually believe you hon-yocks are intelligent.

Fear and Ignorance

How is it possible that you are intelligent when the vast majority of you are walking around in a coma with your eyes wide open? You all desperately embrace your fear and ignorance like a life preserver, all because of your fear of the truth, mainly the truth about yourselves. And after looking you over for a very short while, I don't blame for you avoiding the truth.
Let's just look at one small example of your thinking and behavior. Your fear and ignorance is so apparent that anyone who wishes to manipulate you can do so easily. My staff didn't have to dig too deep into your history to see evidence for this. In the geographical location designated as United States, the citizens are so unable to think clearly that they continually allow incompetent but cleaver citizens known as politicians to use the general popluation's fear and ignorance to achieve their political objectives. For example; it was very clear that Nixon and Reagan used this formula to further their career agendas by stimulating your fear of drugs and crime by highlighting these problems and then promising to protect you from them.
And even after years of failure to do so by anyone who made the same promises, you hon-yocks still don't want to get it. You can't think it through because you were never taught how to think in the first place, I wonder in whose best interests that was? And you think you're an intelligent species?

Simple Reasoning Skills

Simple learning and reasoning skills will tell you that any social organization that becomes too enamored with comfort and the easy life for too long, is in danger of becoming complacent and indifferent, and these two items can be deadly because they lead to the decay of learning and growing, and that in turn leads to fear and ignorance. The notorious war on drugs game is all too transparent to the aware mind. The real solution is not more law enforcement and expensive prisons, but to first decriminize it by legalizing it with minimal regulation, and then addressing the social and cultural origins of the psychological disorders that drive your citizens to use substances for escape. If I lived down there on your paranoid world I'd want to use mind numbing substances too.
The traditional objection to this solution by the huge and lucrative law enforcement community is that if you decriminalize drugs, then everyone will be a drug addict. Come on! Ask yourself this question; why would anyone who is not the victim of some behavioral disorder, want to suddenly start using drugs?
You hon-yocks can't even see the obvious proof that these political shananigans are games. All you have to do is realize that the substance known as alcohol which is proven more dangerous than all the others combined is somehow legal. Another case against your intelligence is the fact that you don't learn from your mistakes. If you think prohibition was a disaster, you better look around in your world today, because drug related crime makes prohibition look like one of your Sunday schools.

I Rest My Case

Now this is only one issue that your social organization is faced with, intelligent species across the Universe must face and deal with all the consequences of social organization. For the most part, an intelligent species gets better at these things with time because they learn from experience and maintain accurate historical records. But the real lesson is to learn how to not let things become problematic in the first place, and this is done by developing the thinking ability to begin with.
Your species is stalled in the adolescent stage of development. Unable to go to the next step and learn how to take responsibility for your thoughts and behavior. Responsibility is the price for taking possession of your own power. It's either that, or live in fear and ignorance your entire life.
Of course, all this is irrelevant since I'm going to vaporize you all just as soon as I get the green light.

Yours Sarcastically,
Ming The Merciless
Beloved Emperor of the Universe

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Making It Perfectly Clear!

Lately my spies have been telling me that there is a rumor going around that I am engaging in what you Humans call a business arrangment with the Human known as the Creator, the friend of those out to lunch scientists aboard Ghost.

My instincts are telling me that this rumor is coming from Billy Bob Bubba who doesn't seem to have anything else to do besides restore a 1956 Cadillac convertable. How could anyone think for a minute that I Ming the Merciless, Emperor of all the Universe, before whom all intelligent life forms must grovel appropriately, would associate with one of you primitve creatures, especially the single biggest pain in my glutei maximei.

Everyone knows that this Creator is the most sarcastic Human on your planet and the idea of me going into business with him in order to sell the vapomatic 1600 franchises is nauseatingly obsurd. I mean, death by vending machine? Come on!

Although, ....... now that I think about it, the prospect of thousands of you Humans stepping into a vaporizing booth everyday is appealing and would tend to move things closer to my Light Speed Corridor project. Hum!

But let me make this perfectly clear! I wouldn't associate my illustrious self with one of you dysfunctional hon-yocks.

Your Benevolent Emperor


Saturday, August 1, 2009

I Am Ming the Merciless

This is your benevolent ruler, before whom all intelligent life forms must grovel appropriately. Now, I know that you semi-conscious hon-yocks are disappointed that you are not allowed to grovel at my magnificant feet, but you're just too primitive.
Beside, as soon as I get this business with the alien scientists and the Galactic Council cleared up I can give the green light to my demolition crew to go ahead and destroy this solar system in order to make way for my Light Speed Corridor project.
Don't waste your time hoping that those dysfunctional alien scientists and that fool they call the Creator are likely to save you from destruction. Besides, I hear he's rubber room material anyway.
I have posted this new blog here because my original blog is hosted by the Agenda of Life Foundation and I find them incompatible with my best interests. My advisors have been urging me to do so and I haven't found any reason yet to vapo them.
But here is where you will find updates on the progress of my efforts to destroy you insignificant hon-yocks.